


Dancing on broken glass

by MadamMissy



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-07 07:41:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17361818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadamMissy/pseuds/MadamMissy
Summary: Dr. John Smith has to bail Missy Saxon out of jail...again. Things end different than Missy had expected and the two of them are forced to discover the debths of the other's being while trying to stay sane. Will it end in misery or happiness?Basically human Twissy with a little bit of sadness and hurt thrown into the mix. There WILL be mention of rape and display of self harm, so be warned!





	1. Chapter 1

John was angry. No, angry didn’t even come close to the emotion he was feeling. He had been on a nice date until he got a call from the police. That could only mean one thing. Missy got into trouble… again.  
He didn’t hesitate and left his date, not caring if it destroyed any chances he had had up to this point. He didn’t even think about driving his girlfriend home. He just left her to pay the bill and disappeared into the night. Missy was his weakness. When it came to her, he couldn’t say no. Both of them had been best friends while growing up, they had studied together and even started working at the same hospital.  
One mysterious night and Missy changed completely, abandoned her friends and went down a long path of alcohol abuse and crimes. Missy refused to talk about what had happened whenever John came to bail her out of jail or she just showed up, desperately in need of money.  
John never questioned her once.  
But that night things were going to change. It had been Missy’s last chance and John knew she wouldn’t like what was to come. He knew the tantrum she’d throw once she got to know about this. He knew he should turn around and let somebody else take the responsibility but she was his oldest friend and she needed him, now more than ever.  
“Dr. Smith?” the policer officer asked, looking tired and stressed.  
“Long time no see,” he replied, ashamed that they had been so many times in the exact situation.  
“I hope she hasn’t put up too much of a fight,” John said and was disappointed by a shake of head.  
“She’s destroyed two chairs on the way in and almost broke the window of the police a car. She’s been screaming ever since we threw her into the cell,” officer Mulligan said and John sighed deeply. Not again…  
“I’m going to pay for the damage she has caused… I have got the papers with me. Do you need to see them or am I allowed to take her with me?” he asked and the officer shook his head. “I don’t get why you care so much, John. She’s insane…”  
“She’s my friend Michael...” he said and the officer came around the desk and said, “But what’s so special about her. All she ever did for you was causing trouble.”  
“It’s… complicated,” John said and didn’t know how to explain a relationship like theirs.  
“Does she know?” he was asked and rubbed his hands over his face, not wanting to think about the fight ahead of him.  
“I take that as a no… Good luck friend.”  
…  
John and Missy had been sitting in the car for half an hour without a single word being exchanged.  
“For god’s sake just start yelling at me already,” Missy said and threw her hands in the air, showing her annoyance.  
“No,” John said and caught Missy off guard.  
“Then just drop me off at the train station and I’ll be out of your way,” she said and looked out the window, arms crossed in front of her chest.  
“No,” John said again, staying calm even though he felt like screaming some sense into her.  
“Why the hell not?”  
“Because I can’t.”  
“And why is that?”  
“Because you’re in my care now.”  
“And what is that supposed to mean, doctor?”  
“I’m your legal guardian from now on and there is nothing you can do about it,” he said and looked at a furious Missy.  
“You’re what? I’m not a goddamn child John! You can’t just get custody of me! That’s bullshit,” she yelled and kicked the car door out of frustration.  
“But you keep acting like one! And I can… The court has decided it and I tried to prevent the bigger damage but this time you won’t get out of this! I have been watching you for far too long. They wanted to throw you into a mental institution and rehab. I just agreed to take care of you instead,” he said, barely holding the tears back.  
“I don’t need your help. I’m perfectly fine on my own… I always have been,” she said and he laughed bitterly.  
“That’s why we’re in front of a police station at eleven in the evening…”  
“You didn’t have to come. Could have just left me in there,” she said and he regretted not stepping in sooner. He should have done something months ago…  
“Well, I did because I care about you, Missy. That’s why I’m doing all of this. Do you think I find it funny to dedicate my entire life to you? Because that’s what I’m going to do from now on. I’ll watch after you like I’d do with a child.”  
Missy huffed at the words and she felt tears welling up in her eyes.  
“I want to talk to my parents,” she said, hoping to talk some sense into them so they would convince John to let her go. They always did. They are weak when it comes to her, she had always used it to her advantage.  
“Your dad was the one to propose to mental treatment and rehab. I could convince him to file for guardianship instead. If it wasn’t for me you’d be in a mental hospital right now,” he said and she felt her last hope of getting out of this die.  
When the realization hit, she just screamed. She didn’t know what else to do. Her entire life, she had been able to do whatever the heck she wanted and it didn’t sit well with her that it would be over.  
“Enough, Missy. I’ll drive us home and then we can have a talk… when you have calmed down,” he said and just started driving, ignoring the screams emerging from Missy’s lips. He needed to be strong for her. She needed someone to be strong for her. Once in her life she didn’t need to be the strong one.  
…  
John had somehow got Missy into the house without too much trouble but once she was inside, he found it difficult to keep her under control. She was pacing up and down the living room and looked like a ticking time bomb. Because that’s what she was, wasn’t it? A ticking time bomb that could explode any minute now. John knew this wasn’t over yet. Missy had just been too tired and sober to fight.  
Her eyes were red from crying and her hands were shaking, probably from the lack of alcohol in her system.  
“Missy please sit down…” he said, hoping he could have an adult conversation with her but he should have known better.  
“I need a drink,” she said and went straight to his whiskey.  
“No. No alcohol for you. This is going to be just like rehab. You won’t touch it,” he said, taking the liquor from her before she could drink any.  
“Come on, John. This shit is hell already! You can at least give me something to numb the pain!” she said and he knew that this was going to be a long and hard journey.  
“No, Missy. We’re doing this the right way. I won’t have you drunk ninety percent of the time. You’ll be sober for this,” he said and saw the anger rise in her eyes. She was going to throw another one of her famous tantrums.  
With a sudden movement she smashed one window from his cabinet and screamed, hitting everything within her reach. “Here we go,” John said, surprised it took her so long.  
“You can stop now, Missy. This won’t be getting you anywhere.”  
She didn’t listen, rage burning inside of her and pushing her even further into destroying his living room. She picked up a chair from nearby and was about to smash it against the wall when she felt a hard grip on her wrist and looked at an angry John.  
“Stop. Right now,” he said and she knew he was serious. He only spoke to her like that when he truly meant it. She set down the chair and didn’t manage to look at him, ashamed for the sudden outburst.  
“Was that really necessary? Well, I think it’s time for you to sleep off whatever you’re on,” he said and she looked at him, shocked that he had assumed that she was taking drugs.  
“Never,” she said, a tear rolling down her cheek.  
“What?”  
“You have never even asked me if I take any drugs,” she said and walked past him, up the stairs.  
He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He followed her and found her in his bed room.  
“No, you’re not staying here,” he said and pushed a confused Missy out of the room and into the room next to his.  
“You’re staying in here,” he said and Missy winced at the sight of the cell like room.  
“The windows are bullet proof, so spare you the energy of trying to break them. The door will be locked at night until I trust you enough to leave it open. The room is safe, no way to hurt yourself, no way to… take your own life,” John said, feeling ashamed for even mentioning it. He knew Missy wouldn’t try it but he needed to be sure.  
“Really? You think so low of me?” she said and he could hear the hurt in her voice.  
“Missy, please don’t make this any harder than it already is,” he said and sighed deeply. It hurt him to treat her like this but it needed to be done.  
“I want your phone,” he said and held his hand out for it.  
“You what?”  
“You heard me right. I want your phone. I don’t want you to be influenced by… your contacts,” he said and Missy huffed.  
“They are my friends… I won’t give it to you. It’s mine. I have a right to own it,” she said and John sighed again, holding back tears.  
“If they are your friends… why didn’t they look out for you? You have no choice… I have the right to take it from you as you aren’t the one to decide about yourself anymore…” he said and moved one step towards Missy, holding his hand out again.  
He saw the sheer panic flash across Missy’s face and wanted to comfort her, make her feel good but that’s not what she needed right now. She needed to wake up and realize that this had to stop and Missy had never been one to listen to kind words.  
For once John had to be her rock. She had been his so many times that he had lost count.  
“No,” Missy said, tears streaming down her face.  
“Missy…” John warned.  
“No,” Missy said and he saw her eyes darting across the room, searching for the best way to escape. Her eyes kept searching until hey fixated on the door.  
She made a run for the door but with one smooth movement he had her wrapped up in his arms and both of them crashed onto the floor, Missy hitting and kicking while sobbing accompanied her crying.  
“Calm down, Missy or I’ll have to sedate you,” he warned, not wanting to do this to her but he had no choice if she continued like this.  
“I hate you,” Missy cried out, her thick Scottish accent really showing.  
“I know you don’t. Please try to calm down for me, love,” he said and tried to soothe her but words didn’t solve the problem, as she tried to kick him even harder. He saw no other chance and so he reached for the syringe in his pocket.  
He sighed before he pulled it out of its sterile wrapper and slowly inserted the liquid into Missy’s blood stream, feeling her go numb in his arms.  
“I hate you,” she said before she gave up the fight and fell into a deep slumber.  
“Me too,” he said before placing her on the bed, tucking her in.  
He looked at her sleeping form and asked himself if he did the right thing. He didn’t know if he was able to pull through with it, barely having the strength to hurt his oldest friend. He kissed her forehead softly before leaving the room, locking it.


	2. Chapter 2

John woke up early after a sleepless night and rolled onto his bed with a heavy sigh. He groaned as his sleepy eyes landed on the clock next to his bed. 4:30. Fuck. He knew he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep so he just got up.   
He made his way downstairs and his naked feet padded into the kitchen where he made himself some breakfast even though he wasn’t feeling hungry at all.   
He ended up eating only half of his porridge and went back upstairs, feeling in need of a hot shower. He needed to clear his head, get his mind off things. The day ahead of him would be enough stress for the next decade or so.   
He was about to walk past Missy’s door, but stopped when he heard a muffled sound emerge from the room. He stepped closer and pressed his ear against the door, wondering whether Missy was up or not. When he heard the sound again, he took a step back in confusion. He hadn’t accepted her to be up so soon. His eyes lingered on the door handle for a few seconds before he walked past her door, deciding to ignore it for now. She shouldn’t get used to being comforted by him every single night or at least that’s what he told himself.   
But deep down he knew it was wrong to just let her suffer on her own and so he cursed under his breath while he went to retrieve the key to the door. He returned and tried to fit the key into the hole but the darkness of the dimly lit hallway made it almost impossible to see what he was doing.  
When he finally opened the door, he saw Missy sitting on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest. Missy looked clearly startled and her shaking hands did a poor job of trying to wipe away the tears, not wanting him to see that she had been weak.   
“Good morning,” he said and locked the door behind him. He knew it wasn’t necessary, but better safe than sorry.  
“Morning,” she said without looking at him and he sat down on the chair next to her bed.   
“How are you feeling?” he asked, knowing the answer by the look of her face.   
“Oh, this is heaven for me, doctor,” she said and it was a good sign that she was still able to be her sarcastic self, despite the current situation.   
“And now the honest answer,” he said, smiling softly.   
“Like shit,” she said and started picking at the split ends of the brown mess of hair.   
“My head hurts, my eyes burn and I need some kind of alcohol,” she said and he felt sorry for what Missy was going through, but she was at fault. He wanted to take away her pain, make it better but he knew he couldn’t do that. She had to do it herself.   
“So how is this going to work?” she asked, wanting to know what exactly she was in for.   
“I took the next six weeks off work. I hope you’ll be through the worst by then, if not I’ll take off longer. We’re both in this,” he said, trying to take her hand but she backed away, clearly still being pissed at him.   
“As if you’re in this, too. I’m the one suffering,” she said and he decided to not start a fight now.   
“No alcohol for you. We’ll talk once a day about what happened. Therapy you might call it. If I realize you’re holding back or using our friendship to your advantage, I’ll send you to a professional friend of mine. We’ll do lots of talking the next few weeks, months, maybe even years. Once you get more stable, we’ll search for something you can do but for now let’s focus on that,” he said and she nodded slightly.   
“I’m going to ask you again… Please give me your phone,” he said and saw a moment of hesitation in Missy’s eyes before she handed it over without a single complaint. He stuffed it into his pockets and thanked her quietly.   
“What happened?” he asked, not being able to hold back any longer. Tears were threatening to spill and the crack in his voice betrayed him. Missy wasn’t able to look at him directly, so she didn’t. She didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes.   
“Life happened,” she just stated and he knew he had to accept it for now.   
“Are you going to tell me what happened that one night?” he asked and she looked even more vulnerable now. A tear spilled and left a wet trail on her cheek.   
“Never,” she said and with such a passion that he was almost afraid to know what happened.   
…  
John had showered before he made Missy some breakfast, bringing it up to her room. When he had visited her this morning, he could see how thin she had become, something he had missed the prior evening.   
“I’ve brought you breakfast,” he said and placed it next to her.   
She eyed the food for a moment before she whispered, “not hungry.”  
“You need to eat. When was the last time you have eaten?” he asked and she just pushed the food away from her.   
“Answer me,” he said sternly, picking up her chin and forcing her to look at him. She was crying again.   
“I don’t know… It has been maybe two or three days,” she said and he could tell she was lying. He raised his eyebrow and she sighed. “A week. It has been a week,” she said and he let her go. She moved away as far as possible and stared at her hands, not able to meet his pitying gaze.   
“Oh, Missy… You know how bad that is for your body. Why?” he asked and she didn’t even know why. She didn’t know why any of the things had happened, but he kept asking her the damn question over and over again.  
“I have been busy,” she said. Lie.   
“Yeah, I’m sure you had a lot to do,” he said, getting annoyed by the lack of honesty and trust.   
“I have been busy, okay. You never seemed to care before now. What changed?” she asked and he saw she meant it. She couldn’t truly believe he didn’t care.   
“I always cared… How can you think I didn’t? Every time I bailed you out, I suffered seeing you like this but I hoped you’d be able to get out of it on your own. I never wanted things to go the way they did. I would have never wanted to force you like this. I always hoped you could do it on your own…” he said.   
She didn’t reply, feeling too weak.   
“At least try to eat,” he said and pushed the eggs towards her.   
She looked at it and reached for the fork reluctantly. She didn’t want to eat and he knew it, but both of them knew she needed to eat.   
“My… friend and I were out of money and he wanted me… well to… you know… I didn’t want to and when he tried to force me I beat the shit out of him, wanting to get away from that life as far as possible. That’s why I ended up in jail. He called the cops on me,” she said and he realized that for once he was wrong in judging her.   
…  
John had let Missy shower and went downstairs, trying to sort out the mess Missy had caused the day before. He had liked his living room the way it was but he would have re-done it soon anyway. He was picking up the broken pieces of glass, when Missy came down the stairs, wearing some of his pajamas.   
“I’m sorry… for that,” Missy said after looking at the mess she had made.   
“Don’t worry. Nothing that can’t be fixed,” he said and walked towards the trash can.   
“So what are we going to do today?” she asked, feeling bored and itchy already.   
“I don’t know. Get you settled down before starting with your therapy,” he said, getting back to cleaning.   
Missy tried to sit down on the couch and relax but her hands began shaking visibly. She stood up and started pacing around, tears welling up in her eyes. When she couldn’t stop the pacing nor the shaking of her hands, Missy began to look around the room in a haste.  
John had finished his actions and was watching Missy worriedly. He knew it would eventually kick in but he had hoped that she would have a chance to rest a while.   
“Missy. Are you okay?” he asked and she just ignored him.   
“Missy…”   
No reaction.   
He walked over to her and grabbed her arm softly, making her stop and look at him.   
“Mh?” she asked, trying to hide her tears.   
Her eyes looked distant and he felt her hands shaking terribly.   
“Should I make you a tea?” he asked, hoping the caffeine would do her some good.   
“No, I’m not thirsty,” she said and shook her head, all the while trying to get out of his firm grip.   
“You need to take your vitamins. Do you want it with sparkling water?” he asked and eyed her suspiciously. He knew she tended to do stupid stuff when she was in such a state.   
“Yup, that would be nice,” she said and he knew she wasn’t really with him.   
“I’ll be right back,” he said and let go of her. She started pacing immediately and he went into the open kitchen, his eyes never leaving her.   
“Missy?” he asked once she stopped in her tracks, staring at the front door. He followed the direction she was looking at and he knew what would happen next.   
“Missy!” he said sternly and the glass fell from his hands as he bolted towards the door, reaching it the same time as Missy. She turned the knob, opening the door a little, before he slammed it back shut, pushing himself between the door and her.   
“Let me go!” she yelled and he wrapped his strong arms around her, bringing her to the ground. She was a hot mess, crying and trying to beat the shit out of him but with the alcohol withdrawal kicking in, she was too weak to actually hurt him.   
John was straddling her, trying to pin her wrists above her head when she let go a scream full of panic. He looked at her, now very clear, eyes and all he saw was how truly terrified Missy was in that moment.   
She stopped fighting and just stared at him like a scared animal about to be eaten by its predator.   
He loosened his grip on her wrists and the two of them stared at each other for a few more seconds before Missy used the chance and kicked him in the ribs, crawling into the next corner.   
When he had recovered from the pain and his eyes started searching for Missy, he was more than surprised to find her rocking back and forth in a corner of his living room. She had her head buried in her legs and was pulling at her hair viciously.   
He knew whatever had caused this kind of panic attack, must have been something worse than just alcohol withdrawal. He had never in all the years he had known her, seen her this terrified of something.   
He approached her slowly and put his hand on her back, feeling her wince under his touch.   
“Missy, it’s okay. It’s only me…” he said and she looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. The fear was still present when she threw herself at him, almost suffocating him with her needy embrace.   
She sobbed into his neck and he tried to comfort her by wrapping his arms around her and whispering soothing words into the mess of her hair.   
Missy didn’t let go of him, not even wanting to think of it.   
“Missy? Do you want to talk about it?” he asked after he felt like she had calmed down a bit.   
He felt her shake her head and even though he wanted to know what made her freak, he knew he shouldn’t push her into telling him anything before she felt ready.   
He brushed his fingers through her thick curls and breathed in the scent of her, making him feel at home. He pulled her even closer, closing his eyes and just wishing to be able to turn back time.   
“Will you ever tell me?” he asked and she seemed to think about it for a second.   
“Maybe,” she said and he knew he should be happy with what he had got.

**Author's Note:**

> I will probably take a while for updates. So sorry for the inconvenience.


End file.
